


I’m Going to Hell - [Lucius x Severus Crack Drabble]

by TechnoFay



Series: I Suppose "Hell" Is Relative [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: "Lucious Mouthful", Absolute Trash, Bad Decisions, Bad Jokes, Bad Sex, Bottom Severus Snape, Christmas, Christmas is Ruined, Crack, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Crying Draco, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Inappropriate Humor, Lucius Malfoy Being an Asshole, Lucius Malfoy's A+ Parenting, M/M, Out of Character, Sexual Humor, Sexual Violence, Sorry Not Sorry, Top Lucius Malfoy, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 18:18:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9397298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TechnoFay/pseuds/TechnoFay
Summary: I would say I'm sorry, but that would be a lie.





	

Severus Snape entered the darkened Malfoy mansion late one night, summoned by the current head of the house; Lucius Malfoy.

Just a simple note was sent, telling Snape that the servants would let him in and to meet him in the study, surely it was related to the normal business with the Dark Lord, but Snape still wanted it to be something more…

He opened the double doors, and there he was, reclining on a leather daybed in nothing but a lace trimmed black silk robe, a merry fire crackling in the fireplace.

“You wanted to see me Lucius?” Snape spoke, shifting from foot to foot; he tried to keep his gaze on Lucius’ face, but the fact that the robe was split open with nothing but miles of pale skin to be seen made the task rather difficult.

And his penis; Snape could clearly see his penis.

“Yes I did. Now, get naked,” Lucius said with no foreplay, waving one hand lazily toward a rather stunned Snape.

“What?” He said hesitantly, trying to stifle the small bit of hope that fluttered up.

“You heard me, now strip. I don’t like having to repeat myself,” Lucius said, his gaze hardening and Snape shivered, nodding stiffly, quickly shedding his robes. He slipped off his shoes but Lucius stopped him at his socks.

“Keep them on. Just the socks,” he said, rising from the daybed and dramatically whipping the robe off of him like he would a cape, tossing it into the fireplace where it immediately burst into flames.

Oops.

Oh well… he could buy a hundred more just like it, he thought with a shrug then turned his gaze on Snape, who snapped to attention like a solider. Little Snape quivered in anticipation. His anaconda did indeed want some, and Lucius was sure to deliver.

“You can call me Luscious Mouthful…” Lucius said in a sultry voice, pelvic thrusting his way over to Snape, who stood watching in awe.

“Now bend over and touch your toes…” He ordered, and Snape snapped to it, slowly bending down as low as he could go – which was only to his knees, but Lucius thought it was a pretty good try. He crabwalked behind Snape and bent down to breathe into his hair.

“I like my women curvy and robust,” the blond purred into his ear, and Snape raised his head, looking confused.

“Err… what?”

“Shut up, you’re ruining the moment…” Lucius snapped, suplexing Snape onto the floor where he lay twitching. Lucius leapt on him like a spider monkey, knocking his pool cue right into the corner pocket.

“Now meow for me…”

Lucius and Snape were just getting down to business when the door to the study creaked open. Draco stood there in his green and white footie pajamas, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and then freezing at the sight.

Poor Draco… only seventeen, a dancing queen and he caught his daddy canoodling with his Headmaster.

Christmas was ruined.

“Daddy why?” he whined, an unpleasant shutter going through him at the married pasty white flesh pile that was his dad and Snape.

“Go away Draco Sweeums, Daddy’s busy,” Lucius said, twisting Snape around around like a pretzel while Draco watched on in horror, backing out of the room with his father’s words echoing in his ears.

“I’m gonna split you in half like a cord of wood.”

Nightmares were certainly in Draco’s future, but for Snape, this was the best Christmas ever.

**Author's Note:**

> Good job, you managed to finish it. I don't know what else to say...


End file.
